When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
