sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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