C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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