i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
