she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
