is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
