Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
