I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
