would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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