Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
