One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
