Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He passed out mid-signature
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize