my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you never un-have a 4some
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
