I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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