I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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