I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
