Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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