I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
