he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So vagazzling was a success
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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