I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
