im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
