i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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