ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
