i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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