I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
