i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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