i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
