you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
