I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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