I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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