i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
