My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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