We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
