What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
