need another drink. this is the easiest way
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How does one acquire holy water?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
