i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
