do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
