my being single is dangerous.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
