My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
