I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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