Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
