you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
