I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
