oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Pooping to opera.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
