I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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