Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
