god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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