SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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