So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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