Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
