You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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