have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
