I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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