Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
