So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
