Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
