i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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