I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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