Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize