the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
