soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
