But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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