okay pat passed out under dana's car
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize