I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
