im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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