two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
