Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
