but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
it's great music for shaving your balls
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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