She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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